How Am I Supposed to Live Without You?
by Secoya
Summary: When Hermione returns for her 6th year at Hogwarts heartbroken and depressed, Ron and Harry go to enormous lengths to figure the cause of her distress, whilst Ron fights to keep his own feelings for her from intervening. HGRW & HPGW
1. An Introduction

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Disclaimer; I'm obviously not making any money by writing this story, and I don't own anyone you've already heard of.

**Summary; **When Hermione returns for her 6th year at Hogwarts heartbroken and depressed, Ron and Harry go to enormous lengths to figure the cause of her distress, whilst Ron fights to keep his own feelings for her from intervening. HG/RW & HP/GW

**Author's Note; **Just a caution, some of my chapters for this story may be very short. It just depends on how much I want to cover in each one. Hopefully the general lengths of chapters will grow as the plot progresses. Consider this small clip an introduction. I know this break up may seem weird, but I actually based it on the ending fight I remember having with my ex.

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How Am I Supposed to Live Without You?

An Introduction

"Why are you doing this?" Hermione pleaded over the phone. "I don't even understand, what did I do? What did I do to deserve this?"

"Nothing, I just... I'm sorry, I don't feel the same anymore."

"But _why_? Please, just tell me."

"It's my freakin' heart! I don't know why, just that I can't stay with you anymore!"

Hermione was now crying. "Please don't leave me like this, please, I love you, you know that."

"Well how do you expect me to stick around! You cry about EVERYTHING!"

"Why do you think! I cry because you make me feel terrible! I don't even know who you are anymore."

"Exactly! You said it yourself! I make you feel terrible, so why should you want me! ESPECIALLY WHEN _I_ DON'T WANT _YOU_!"

"Oh please take that back," she sobbed, holding on in vain.

" Hermione, look, we are too different. When I first met you, you were strong and happy with your school books, _that _is what first attracted me to you. But the closer you get to me, the more you just sit around and cry. I really think you should just go back to that world of studying you were in, or whatever it was, get over me and... just forget about us."

"I don't even know how I'm going to do that."

The cold voice on the other line was not sympathetic. "Well, you're just going to have to. Sorry, but... I don't love you anymore."

Hermione could hear nothing but silence, and then the click of his phone turning off. Utterly devastated, she burst into tears, having only a soft nuzzle from Crookshanks to comfort her.


	2. Luckily, We Live In An Ocean

Disclaimer; I'm obviously not making any money by writing this story, and I don't own anyone you've already heard of.

**Summary; **When Hermione returns for her 6th year at Hogwarts heartbroken and depressed, Ron and Harry go to enormous lengths to figure the cause of her distress, whilst Ron fights to keep his own feelings for her from intervening. HG/RW & HP/GW

**Author's Note; **Hey, hope you like this next chapter. And yes, you were correct in guessing that Hermione's break up was with a muggle boy. Thank you reviewers, I love you all to pieces, please keep reading :)

**isnani**

Emily

How Am I Supposed to Live Without You?

Chapter One; Luckily, We Live In An Ocean

Hermione lay in her bed feeling nothing short of absolutely exhausted. Today she was supposed to be going to Diagon Alley to buy her books for her 6th year at Hogwarts, but she barely had the energy to even get dressed.

"Hermione, Hun,' are you up yet?" her mother called from downstairs. Rolling over, she slid onto the floor and hollered back,

"Give me a sec!" Rummaging through a rather large pile of dirty clothes she had let sit all week, she pulled out a pair of vintage jeans she had worn a few days before, and went to her closet to find a fresh shirt. Choosing a simple white tee, and wrapping her hair up in a messy bun, she pronounced herself presentable and went downstairs to meet her mother.

Mrs. Granger had just finished preparing a quick breakfast of German pancakes and a mild Columbian coffee when her soon-to-be sixteen-year-old daughter made her first appearance for days in the kitchen. Noticing Hermione's pallid face, and staggering walk raised her worries.

"Hermione, sweetheart, eat something. I haven't seen you so pale since your father had his heart surgery."

"What did you make?" she asked, tiredly.

"Here, your favorite!" Mrs. Granger placed a large pan of steaming pancakes on the table. Taking one glance at them, Hermione felt her stomach lurch.

"Oh please Mum, I don't think I can handle them today."

"Well how 'bout some coffee? Honey, I know break ups are terrible, but losing a boy is no reason to stop eating. There are always other fish in the pond, and luckily for you, we live in an ocean. Besides, you'll need the energy if you're going to get all of your books bought today. Normally you can't wait to get out there to do your shopping." Not feeling any hunger whatsoever, but knowing her mother was right, Hermione took a sip of the large mug of coffee that had been set before her. "There, doesn't that taste good?" Hermione gave a half hearted smile, acknowledging her mother's effort, but said nothing more.

Finally pulling up at The Leaky Caldron, Hermione climbed out of the car and pulled her luggage from the trunk, whilst Crookshanks squirmed in her arms.

"Are you sure you want to stay here until school starts, sweetheart?" her mother asked from the driver's seat. "I mean, it could get awfully lonely."

"I'll be okay, Mum. I've stayed her in past years. I just need some... alone time before school starts, you know?"

"Yes, I understand. I did the same thing after my first big break up."

"Yeah."

"Well, here's some extra money just in case. Be sure to find a friend to room with, and send me an owl the moment you get to Hogwarts, agreed?"

"Of course, Mum. Thanks a ton."

"Okay Hun,' have a good time! I love you! And remember to eat!"

"I love you too. See you at Christmas." Hermione faked a smile and watched her dear mother drive out of sight. Maybe during this entire week she would have to herself, she could clear her mind and rediscover her studious self. As much as she hated to admit it, Brad, her now _ex boyfriend _- God, she would never get used to calling him that - had been absolutely correct in saying that she needed to return to her books. Of course, this year would be hell without him.

Dragging her belongings behind her, with Crookshanks following at her heels, Hermione trudged into The Leaky Caldron to rent a room.


	3. Girls Needn't Call Boys

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Disclaimer; I'm obviously not making any money by writing this story, and I don't own anyone you've already heard of. Also, I don't own the book "The Rules" either. It was written by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider.

**Summary; **When Hermione returns for her 6th year at Hogwarts heartbroken and depressed, Ron and Harry got to enormous lengths to figure the cause of her distress, whilst Ron fights to keep his own feelings for her from intervening. HG/RW & HP/GW

**Author's Note; **Oh wow! I've just re-read this chapter, and didn't realize how much I went on rambling about the complications of maintaining a relationship with a man. I hope it doesn't bother any of you, but this fic might as well be a way of venting, and voicing some of the questions I found myself asking after my own break-up. Jesus, it's been over a month and I still don't find myself getting over this guy. Will things ever work out!??? Thank you very much reviewers, please keep reading :)

**Weirdo's Rule**

megafreak

Jennifer

lizerlips

How Am I Supposed to Live Without You?

Chapter Two; Girls Needn't Call Boys

Hermione collapsed onto the large bed that was positioned in the corner of the small room she had just rented. _Lordy, I've got to get my books before it gets too late. _Sitting back up, afraid she might fall asleep if she didn't, Hermione poured Crookshanks a saucer of milk, shoved her luggage under the bed, and set off to buy her supplies for the coming year. Really, all she wanted to do was lose herself in an emotionless slumber, but she had been doing that the entire week. Maybe today, with nothing in the busy crowds of Diagon Alley to remind her of the summer, she could pull herself out of this trance she had become stuck in, and go back to living normally.

"Ron, move over! You're squishing me!" Ginny complained. Harry rolled his eyes, staring out the window. He had been hearing this all morning, as he and the Weasleys drove to the Leaky Caldron. Molly had announced to Arthur, just as everyone was ready to leave, that she had forgot to pick up some more flu powder at the market and they would have to use their new car. No one had really minded (until now), and Arthur had been happy to have an opportunity to drive around just like a muggle, but it really was a pain in the neck to have Ron's sleeping self bouncing between Harry and Ginny as they both shoved him away when his head would land on their shoulders.

At last, they pulled up at the Leaky Caldron and Harry freed himself from the car. Ron had begun snoring at the last, and Ginny wasn't the only one annoyed. Stretching, they each pulled out their luggage and sauntered into the obscure, little pub.

Hermione had been meandering through Diagon Alley for several hours all alone when she finally purchased her final text book for the year. She had generally kept to herself, and as much as she was missing Harry, Ron, and Ginny, she wasn't really in the mood to meet up with them. Stopping to gaze at her reflection in the glass window of a certain shop, she noticed for the first time how skinny she'd become since that last spring. Her pants hung from her hips, looser than ever before, and her shirt seemed to be a little less than filled out properly.

At first, upon paring with Brad, she had lost several pounds due to pure joy. As the saying went, _who needs food when you've got love, _but as the relationship wore on, and the distance between them grew, the pounds had fallen off due to... anxiety, more than anything. _Is he cheating? Why didn't he call? Where was he on Saturday? How come he never says "I love you," anymore? Why don't we ever go out on actual dates anymore? How come he doesn't pay as much attention to me as he used to? Why doesn't he ever initiate sex anymore? Honestly, isn't a man supposed to want sex at all times, whenever, wherever? _The list of questions she had asked herself over and over throughout the weeks went on and on, but there was no denying it, he had given her the answer that day he broke it off. He just wasn't in love, so why put effort into such a relationship? Of course, breaking her heart more than anything was the commonly asked question, _why couldn't he love her based on the fact alone that she just plain loved him so much?_ Why wasn't that enough? How come he couldn't have just been happy knowing that he had found someone so much in love with _him_?

All in all, obviously, a textbook would never be able to teach her these lessons, and she was devastated to have to learn this particular lesson so early in life. Especially when she had been so unprepared. Never in her life had she come across a situation where she didn't have a least a small amount of knowledge about. Even as unpredictable as a car crash was, there was always an education of who to call, how to do CPR if needed, etc... As the rumors had circulated through a close circle of muggle friends she had back in her community, many of them claimed she had just been too available. But too available? She didn't understand it. How could a man just lose interesting at the drop of a hat? What was the 'thing' with men and a nice challenge? Couldn't they obtain that from a difficult math problem? Why did they want to continue playing games, and have their women do the same even after the relationship had become official? The logic in all this was absolutely terrible. Of course you weren't going to want the woman you would one day marry play all sorts of head games, and just not call because 'girls needn't call boys,' _but they did_. All the men were wanting was a game to play. The more distance she would put between herself and Brad, the more he was pursuing her, but then when she would try and give some of the love back, he was suddenly annoyed and constantly too busy for her.

_And men think WOMEN are the confusing ones!_

A few days after the break up, Hermione had found a book entitled "The Rules," hidden away from view on the book shelf in her living room. She was able to read it through quickly, and apparently, she had broken all of the so-called _Rules _which concerned 'Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right_.' _While these rules seemed reasonable in a sense, and she could see how they must've worked, why did a woman have to act so... restrained to maintain a healthy relationship with a man?

Maybe she would never figure this out...

Pushing all such negative thoughts from her mind, and heading back to the Leaky Caldron, Hermione was considering taking another nap back in her room when a familiar face came through the door of the pub.

"HERMIONE! You're actually here!!! We haven't heard from you all summer long! OH MY, how skinny you've gotten! Are you all right?"

Swallowing the lump of remorse for not having made better contact with her friends during the vacation, Hermione switched her weight from foot to foot, trying to come up with a good excuse. "Well.... yeah, erm... I've been kinda um....busy with... things. Yup, that's how it's been, ya know?" _Oh yeah, that was good... where is my brain today?_


	4. Little White Lie

****

Disclaimer; I'm obviously not making any money by writing this story, and I don't own anyone you've already heard of.

**Summary; **When Hermione returns for her 6th year at Hogwarts heartbroken and depressed, Ron and Harry got to enormous lengths to figure the cause of her distress, whilst Ron fights to keep his own feelings for her from intervening. HG/RW & HP/GW

**Author's Note; **Hey everyone, what happened to Krum will be revealed in good time, thank you so much for your support, reviewers! :) I would have chapters up quicker, but every chapter I write, I have to e-mail to my sister. For some reason, my computer won't even open up internet explorer files. Really odd.

**Weirdo's Rule**

lizerlips

Trixie-chan

AdrienneLovesRon69

Jane and Adam

PippinsMyHobbit

megafreak

jayy

khaoskit

Marci

How Am I Supposed to Live Without You?

Chapter Three; Little White Lie

"Really, Hermione, when you didn't even write," Ginny continued, "well, we were worried something had happened to you."

_Something did happen. _"Yeah, well uh... I'm here now." _How about we change the subject, damnit!_ "Are Harry and Ron with you?"

"Oh yes, they're inside having drinks with Mum and Dad. Let's go get them!" Ginny suggested eagerly. Hermione knew she just wanted to get all of her books bought quickly so that she could meet up with her boyfriend, Dean Thomas, a little later. Hermione grabbed her arm as she turned for the pub.

"Wait, wait! Ginny, I... please, I really don't want to see them just yet."

"Oh Hermione, don't be ridiculous! They've been wanting to see you all summer long!"

"Well, that's great, but uh..." _Think, Hermione, think! _"Look, I'm glad they've been thinking of me, but I'm not exactly... presentable."

"Presentable? Seriously," Ginny asked, flustered, "You're perfectly right, you do look pretty shabby today ("Thanks a bunch Gin.") but... since when has being presentable ever been an issue to you? Does Hermione have a little infatuation with a certain someone she forgot to tell me about? Hmm?" Ginny winked, "I mean... if it helps, I'm sure Ron feels the same way about you."

"Ginny! Of course not!" Hermione gasped.

"Okay, sorry, just checking." Ginny smirked. For some reason, she had never quite been able to believe Hermione's denials.

"No, it's not that being presentable really is an issue, just... well look at me, I'm a complete mess. This isn't just a little shabby, this is..." Hermione motioned to her unwashed hair, and chalky complexion, "a disaster."

"Yep, I see your point... but..." Ginny studied her for a moment, before grabbing her hand and dragging her into the pub nonetheless, "since it isn't a crush, how you look shouldn't be important to your best friends. Let's go."

Hermione's protests were ignored as she was shoved through the Leaky Caldron's back door. Just her luck, she smacked right into an unsuspecting red-head, who was on his way out.

"Ron! Oh God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to run--"

"Hermione!" Ron cut her off. "Where have you been, you.... ouch, you bumped me in the nose." He gently rubbed what was turning into a very large bruise, as Ginny pushed her way past an unmoving Hermione into the pub.

"Sorry, my fault," Ginny apologized. "Hey Harry! Look who I found!" she shouted across the pub, waving him over." _Oh please, just let them go away. I don't think I can handle this right now, _Hermione was silently begging.

Harry strode over, finishing a butterbeer. "Hey Hermione, we've missed you! What's been up lately?"

For some reason, she suddenly felt very uncomfortable as she realized she was standing incredibly close to two very tall, cut boys. It was almost uncomfortable that she had even noticed how tall, and cut they were. _Jesus, it's just Harry and Ron, and I've been around them a million times; what is my problem? _She suspected it was for the single reason of having learnt a little something from Brad. She now understood why the body was such an amazing, useful tool, and exactly what she was capable of doing with hers. Maybe, it was a question of what they might be capable of doing with theirs... Hmm...that was an interesting thought... _WAIT! Whoa, rewind!_ _Stop, stop, STOP! I am NOT thinking about this. They're are just normal teenage boys, with normal teenage bodies. NOTHING arousing about that._ _I probably just feel a little odd because this is my first time being around the boys since acquiring a taste, or more like a three course meal, of physical experience._

"Hermione.... ? HERMIONE! Are you in there?" Ron's voice jerked her out of her muse, which she almost felt guilty for having. "Are you okay? You look a bit flushed."

"Well, ... I..." She had gone completely blank.

"You?" They were all staring at her.

Not knowing what else to do, and lacking the brain power at the point to even carry on a coherent conversation, she took her leave. "Uh... please excuse me, I'm really not feeling well. I think I should return to my room."

"Er... okay... Hermione....? If you say so. We were gonna invite you to go shopping with us, but I guess if you don't want to, well..."

"Thanks Harry, I just... I'm sorry, I need to lay down. My stomach's been kind of dodgy all morning and I'm really not up to it." _You little liar._

"Well, is there anything we can do to help?" Ron asked, overly concerned.

"Nah, I'll be fine." She started up the stairs, thankful to get away from the inquiries.

"Okay, well..." he called after her, "expect a visit later on. I'll bring you up something to eat."

Hermione stopped on the last stair. _Great, just what I want. Something to eat... _Feeling an overwhelming urge to hurl at the thought of food, but appreciative of the idea, she acknowledged his offer with a 'Thanks' but made no specific requests concerning whatever he should bring.

Once Hermione was out of earshot, Ginny turned to the boys, highly suspicious. "What do you suppose has gotten into her? She's been completely vague since I ran into her outside. You don't think anyone's ...ya know, _done something _to her_, _do you?"

"I don't know," Ron whispered, "but that's sure not the Hermione I remember. Usually she has a million things to say."

"Oh, come on guys," Harry reassured them. "Her summers are spent with muggles. Hate to break it to you, but it's a much more stressful world than this one. She probably had to listen to her parents talk about all of their bills and how much overtime they had to work, being dentists and all; there could be a thousand things she's thinking about. Who knows, they could even be getting a divorce, they could be in debt, her grandpa could've just died, you never know, but I don't think we should worry too much. Hermione's very adaptable, and I'm sure she'll tell us soon enough."

"Yeah, you're right," Ginny sighed. "Most likely, she just on her period."

"Ginny! We didn't wanna hear that!"

Both boys plugged their reddening ears.


End file.
